Hear ye, hear ye, drinkers! I just earned my California Food Handler Certificate of Achievement. Rest assured that I can now safely handle and serve you your popcorn chicken that makes that pitcher of Goose Island IPA so much more refreshing.

Furthermore, I will make sure to vigorously scrub my hands with soap and scalding water for at least twenty seconds after each cash transaction, before I resume slinging drinks.

I apologize for the lag, my thirsty brethren, yet it is necessary. It is my duty to take every reasonable action to keep your tipple pathogen-free.

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