I have a system.

Here’s a scenario to illustrate it:

Five deep at the bar. Mayhem.

One guy is making out with his boyfriend, gabbing with his girlfriend, smacking his guy friend on the bootie, dancing with his mom, and ordering several drinks, one at a time. But he keeps changing the order, stuttering, stumbling, blundering, forgetting.

I want a Grey Goose vodka, he says.

Grey Goose is vodka, I tell him.

He laughs at his mistake. Grey Goose cranberry, he says.

What else? I ask him.

Uhm, hold on, he says, and turns around to ask his mom what she’s having.

Another guy casually raises his hand to get my attention. Without making a show of it, he has a $20 bill ready to pay. I’ll take a Blue Moon, he says.

For the sake of expediency, I will serve this guy his beer while the other dude figures out the rest of his order.

Ordering a drink at a bar is an art in itself. Please, strive to be clear, concise, and direct. Much of my work boils down to communication. Tell me what you want. Do it clearly, and say it like you mean it.