Leave it on the bar, please

Let me acknowledge, first and foremost, that I, as your bartender, very much appreciate your tip. However, it is in no way necessary to put that dollar bill directly in my palm. I’m multi-tasking. I’m taking orders, making a cosmo, and running a credit card and cash transaction, all at the same time. I am in the zone. Unless you are tipping me $20 per round or some exorbitant amount, please, dear drinker, consider the breakneck speed at which I’m moving before you disrupt my flow. Again, I am grateful for your generosity. However, you will make my job easier by just leaving it on the bar. I’ll see it, I’ll get it, and you, my fellow imbiber, will get your drink faster when you return for Round Two.

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